My Body

What happened to the body I knew?

The one I used to have?  Where by breasts were firm and high?  Two babies nurtured and nursed and years gone by.  Now not so firm and high but where grandbabies love to snuggle – right by my heart!

I do not know this body of mine now.  It has aches, pains, and ouches in very odd places.  Outstretched arms, once belonging to my children, no longer lift up.  Now those same arms reach down to their children.  Once lifting children was my life, now I settle on the couch, “come sit by me,” I say, “you are getting too big to carry.”  Surprisingly, they come and snuggle in beside me to read a book, or watch tv, or show me their latest booboo.

I do not match this body of mine.  Inside I am youthful, energetic, joyful, and full of life.  What I see in the mirror is not me…who has invaded my body?  I do not know her.  Round in so many places that once were strong and toned, still long limbed but thicker than when I was younger.  If I don’t put on my glasses I can no longer see me clearly at all…maybe that is my rose colored glasses…seeing out of focus.

When did my babies grow so strong and tall?  In the blink of an age, they are now awesome moms, uncles, aunts, and mentors with little ones who look up to them now.

When did the babies turn into grand-babies?  What is so grand about a grandma?  I like being a grand-mom.  It fits me.  I have much more time to stop and watch the ants (although I draw the line at watching the snake), paint a picture, rub a back, cheer on a soccer player, kiss a booboo.

A new group of babies giggle at me knees, sweetly sing-songing “maw-maw”, “maw-maw”, “watch me”!  I swore, when young, “maw-maw” I’d never be that was for old women.  Grams – never grammy, g’ma, g-mom.  Now maw-maw is the sweetest words I hear!  I don’t mind at all!

Teach me how to whisper

Teach me how to whisper 

so I can learn to be gentle with myself.

Teach me how to whisper

so truth and soul become one within.

Teach me how to whisper

so I speak my truth, gently, unerringly, infinitely. 

Teach me how to whisper

so I may show others their beginning paths.

Teach me how to whisper

so I have no need to shout.

Teach me how to whisper. 

3/27/11 

My Want List

beeswax candle making kit

long handled wooden spatula type wooden spoon for canning

picture frames all oak 5x7 size; three or four 8x10 size

good smelling bath stuff preferably something with patchouli (musk) in it
Passion by Elizabeth Taylor
vanilla amber musk by bodycology - NOT vanilla brown sugar which smells horrid!
candles all colors
clear candle holders plates

staple gun
sewing scissors sharpened
kitchen knives sharpened

Katrina Powers Friedberg You know when you are turning into your mother when....you come home from work look @ the tornado, laugh & head for bed.

“Grace is available for each of us every day - our spiritual daily bread - but we've got to remember to ask for it with a grateful heart and not worry about whether there will be enough for tomorrow.”    Sarah Ban Breathnach

Heather's first homcoming she's beautifu!

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Jayme dancing

I stand looking in the mirror, at these lines upon my face, wondering if in this lifetime, I will find peace and grace.

Ask for what you want

Ask for what you want. Do not assume that you must "make do" with a second choice.
~Mary Kane Radmacher

 

As women, we are caregivers. That is the role we are taught whether we work at home or outside of the home. We are taught to put others' needs before our own. We then treat ourselves as "second best". Put yourself  first. You are no good to anyone else until you do.

First there is burnout, then anger, followed by depression. Stop the cycle. Your emotional and physical needs come first. Exercise, take a class, learn a craft. The more your needs are met, the more balanced you become. When you are in balance the stressors of life can be prioritized - either by discarding that which i...s not worthy or handling those things deemed worth your time and effort.