Diana's Musings: Empty Nest Syndrome

Ok, let me say this right up front. I was always under the impression that the empty nest syndrome happened to old people. That said, I am NOT old! I'm not even close! Old is a state of mind and I don't qualify.

When I was young and had my children (Tink is trying to be a critic again and blocking my view. Nice kitty, now go and play. Tink just sulked off and took up her post on the cat perch. Her tail is swishing her agitation!)

Tinkerbell came to us as the last part of our four-legged family, when our daughter moved and couldn't take her with them. Tink had a BAAAADDDD attitude at first, but after intense squirt bottle therapy, she learned I am the queen cat in this house and she better mind her p's and q's. She's learned to get along with all of our animals. I do think she's jeolous of Harley Jane though. She also get a little nervous when the house is full of either two dogs or the grandkids. She's my first lap kitty.

As I was saying...

When I was young and had my children I didn't think hardly at all about what I would do when my children would be grown and move out of the house. Of course, I didn't know at the time I would get my wish, or close to it, for 10 kids. When I was a young adult I would tell anyone I knew that I wanted 10 kids. Ten just sounded right to me. Most people looked at me like I was crazy!

After meeing an old high school classmate a few years out of high school, who was divorced and had a child in Washington state; bearing two children, a subsequent divorce, then meeting the man of my heart who had kids, then taking in his best friend's niece, and finally having my daughter from Washington return to the fold, there were eight kids to live with us. Thankfully they were not all at home at the same time! The most for a short time was five. But eight was close enough to 10!

I digress.

After having a noisy, crazy, loving, not always perfect, upside down life for at least 20 years, (33 for my dh) full of kids and their antics. I never thought I'd enjoy, yes, I said ENJOY being an empty nester!

I never said it was easy - at first - but I've grown to cherish my quiet household!!

It was always hard to say goodbye to each child as they moved on to adulthood and out of the house. As the house noises became quieter, I put the thought of the last child leaving home for good out of my head.

When our son, the youngest at home, moved out for the trial of adulthood, I moped for weeks. Somewhere inside I knew this was only a summer trial of separation but it sure felt final. Then he moved back home and all was back to as it should be I thought since I wasn't ready to give into the empty nest bliss yet.

Then the son met his wonderful wife-to-be and they were married. Ouch! Even if I wasn't ready he was. This was going to be final.

I knew I had to come to grips with this "thing". I cried (and I NEVER cry- or hardly ever!) for months. I did a ton of soul searching. What I realized was....drum roll please....

I realized a Mom is a mom forever. Period. The part of me that nurtures, loves, guides, and takes care of everyone else was not going to go away. I prayed asking to have something to "mother". Some animal to love, discipline, and spoil since I needed to mother someone or something or go crazy! And take everyone else around me to crazy-ville too especially my dh who was left alone with me! So we went looking for a dog. One to protect me when he traveled and give me companionship and love.

First there was Lucas, our yellow lab we rescued from the Humane Society. He was a good dog but had been abused too much to be around kids. One awful day he went after a grandkid. Thankfully, she wasn't hurt - only scared but that was enough. I ended up putting him out of his misery and held him as the vet put him to sleep. I cried for weeks. More of this crying thing...just not good for me.

During the time Lucas was with us I aked God to send something else to mother since Lucas didn't take up all of my time. God sent us Pumpkin.

Pumpkin was orange as a baby hence his name. His mom was an abdoned cat left to fend for herself. She has since become feral. But Pumpkin was the runt of the litter. Momma cat had moved all of her kittens again but hadn't come back for this one. Poor baby was crying in the ditch across from our house. I crossed the road, put him in a box, left him with dog food and water in the garage and went to work. I had full intentions of taking him to the Humane Society. God had different plans. Our daughter came by the house and even offered to take him to the Humane Society by her house. Pumpkin was in the box in her truck. But he kept getting out of the box. I didn't want her to get into an accident so I said we would take the kitten there after her Dad got home. By that time I was hooked! I asked my dh if we could keep him. He said yes! Poor Pumpkin was so traumatized that dh held him for over two days. That clinched that. Pumpkin is dh's cat. Oh, he loves me and will show me a little affection but he pines for dh when he's gone. That's ok though, dh needed a cat to love him too.

After I had to put Lucas to sleep, my heart ached. When I healed, I again asked God for something to mother. God sent me Buster Brown. He's our wonderful, kid-loving, spoiled rotten, ball catching, pool swimming, spring-shedding-enough-for-a-mattres, joyful, licking, Austrialian sheep herding dog. He's a big hoss but oh so very loving. He also is a great watchdog! Buster also came from the corn field just like Pumpkin. The kids call them our four-legged children of the corn.

Buster giving dh hugs!

The last animal love of our lives is Harley Jane. She is our sometimes dog. She is our daughter's and son-in-law's dog. She was Buster's surrogate mom. She was really the one who potty trained Buster. All of the good gentle qualities of Buster were nutured by Harley. Of course, he's taught Harley a few things too - like how to get into the garbage - one of his very few bad qualities.